Get in your car and drive

So I went to see the new Bond movie last night (Casino Royale for those who live in caves). The creators took a chance with the man playing James Bond by hiring Daniel Craig to play Bond. They also decided to take the original James Bond film, Casino Royale, and remake it. The original, released in 1967, was not that big of a hit. It was one of those "this is the film to introduce 007, the next ones starring him will be much better" type of movies, and the producers lived up to that. Of course, true Bond enthusiasts know this, while normal movie-goers wouldn't waste time researching it.

Strike one, they tried to remake a movie that wasn't that good in the first place.

Now I'll explain why it's a risky move to hire Daniel Craig. For one, doesn't look like Bond. He has thin strawberry blone hair, his eyes are George-Bush squinty, and he's covered with age spots. Isn't James Bond supposed to have that young-man super-sexy charming appeal? I mean, this guy looks like he's 60. Well, at least they'll make up for it with his talents. Nope, I guess not. From the get-go, this guy does NOT know how to drive stick (That Aston Martin in the movie was an automatic), doesn't like guns, and manages to hurt himself in most of his stunt sequences. James Bond is supposed to be one of those guys who can leap over fences, outrun a Cheetah, and shoot someone from 200 feet away while doing all these things. This guy is like, well, the bad guy slid down a rope off the side of this building....I guess I'll take the lift (British terminology for an elevator). I mean, what in the hell were they thinking letting this man be Bond? I think he might have shot like, 5 people total in this movie, one of which was done quietly, I dare say true secret agent style.

Strike two, they tried to hire a loser to be Bond.

And where was the good chase scene? I mean, they gave him a 520 HP V-12 Aston Martin Vanquish, and all he manages to do with it is spin tires in a wet parking lot, let the bad guy get away, and wreck it on a straight stretch of road with his poor driving skills. Any REAL Bond would have caught that 4 and a half ton Rolls-Royce that the bad guys were in and saved the girl WITHOUT unneccesarily totalling the car. I can almost see the dissapointment on Q's face. And speaking of Q, where in the hell are all the Bond gadgets!? The most advanced tool he had in his disposal was a Motorola Razr phone and a TomTom GPS system. No laser watches or X-ray glasses here, we're going to make sure all of Bond's special tools can be picked up at Radio Shack. Now you can text message, just like James Bond!

Strike three, no high tech gadgetry and action sequences to use them in.

Overall I give this a one-and-a-half star rating, just because Ian Flemming wrote the original book in 1967 when he didn't have a lot to work with and was just getting started with Bond. I think he would be ashamed at how Hollywood has butchered James Bond into a sissy falling-in-love actionless loser. James Bond is supposed to be a Man's Man...not a dork.

It's been waaaay too long since I updated, so there is a lot to talk about! We'll even organize by topic

NEW PLACE TO LIVE!
Let's see...I moved out of Joel's, finally, so now I live in a freaking SWEET apartment in the Middletown area. We're on the second floor, we have vaulted ceilings, a fireplace, and a rediculous amount of room. It's beautiful. Supposedly it's only been lived in once, and that was only for three months by a reservist who was deployed and broke his lease. Oh well.

NEW PETS!
We've got two aquariums also, one in the kitchen with two little Danios, and a 29 gallon tank in my room with our sharks. This is starting to be our new hobby together, which is pretty fun. The people over at PetSmart know us on a first-name-basis now. I dont' think I've ever had a pet with anyone before...big steps in the relationship ;)


NEW JOB!
Ah, and of course, how could I forget, I have a new job! I've been there a while, but I haven't posted in....ever...so...yeah. Anyway, I am now an Automotive Line Technician at Perkins Eastside Chrysler. Yes, I get dirty and nasty, but I am getting a rediculous amount of experience, and making a fat chunk of change while I'm at it. I won't say exact amounts, but this is approximately a 250% raise over what I was making at the last job. Oh yeah, no college degree either, imagine that. I'm actually doing something I like too, which is even cooler. It's really hard, because I have to buy my own tools, but even with all those expenses, I'm still bringing in WAY more than I ever did at the other jobs.

That's the only part that sucks. I think I probably have about $6,000 worth of tools now, but I'm still not even close to all the ones I need.

By the way, anyone who needs their car worked on...hit me up. I love side work :)

NEW ROOMIE!
Yeah, that's right, I have a new roomie. I never thought my parents (or her's) would be okay with it, but I now live with Lauren. Woah. Crazy, I know. It's working out REALLY well so far, and I don't foresee any problems. We get along so well, and she's the best roomate I've ever had (sorry Joel). It feels so natural to come home to her though, and I really feel like this is OUR apartment together, rather than me moving in with someone, or them moving in with me. It's nice.

NEW um...CAR?
Maybe? I dunno, I can afford it now, and The Green Hornet has almost 217K...Hrmm....

Alright, well that's it for now, more updates from now on. YEAH TOAST!

Wow...I am trashed. This is going to be a shitty post, but I'm thinking, hey, I should post about being trashed. Lauren, I wanted you to know, no matter how many girls I may encounter, you're the only one I think about in that way. I love you.

Word.

Anyway, I think the pizza is burning, so I'm going to go make a martini so Joel can pass out. That's probably a good idea for me to go too. Yeah...I'm wasted. K-bye!

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net


PS: By no means does this imply that Dear Andy is open again. Bah.

Attention everyone: Dear Andy is now closed.

I simply don't care anymore. I'm sick and tired of having to deal with everyone else's problems. Why should I sit and fuss and mull over your petty problems in life when there are serious ones concerning my own? I shouldn't.

When you only call me to whine/bitch/complain....how do you think that makes me feel? Can you never call me with GOOD NEWS? Apparently not. Sure, your life sucks, but so does everybody elses', so don't act like your problems can't be solved by anyone other than me.

Guilt-tripping will only result in me getting pissed at you.

Simply put, if your problems are that big, go see a therapist/psychiatrist. If they aren't big enough for you to justify that, I'm sure you can deal with them yourself.

Thanks,
k-bye

Today is Friday.

It's raining...hard.

Today I am depressed.

I'm sick of it. That's basically the core of all of my complaints. My life seems completely routine now, and I'm tired of it. I mean, Monday to Wednesday, I can't do ANYTHING the whole day because of class. I could on Tuesday between classes, but I usually have to nap or something so I don't fall asleep in my night class. Thursday and Friday are pretty much shot as well because of Kroger. God what an awful job. Low pay, low respect, and crappy work. Oh yes, crappy hours too.

School is still going alright, but I don't feel like I'm getting anywhere. I mean, fuck, I'm still living at home, crappy job, crappy car, and like, two friends. WTF

I've worked my ass off since I dropped out of EKU and WHAT THE FUCK DO I HAVE TO SHOW FOR IT!? NOTHING! I don't have SHIT that I didn't have three years ago. I mean, sure I've acquired STUFF, but I haven't gained anything. The best thing I have in my life is my girlfriend, and she refuses to see how wonderful she really is. I don't deserve someone like her, I really don't.

Fuck it, I'm going out.

I believe that 2006 is going to be one of the biggest years of my life. There are a million and one things I could talk about, so I'm not even sure how to get started.

First thing on my mind, of course, is the beautiful, fun, lovable person who is burrowing deeper into my heart. I have a hard time explaining it, but she is probably...no...I'm sure about it...she is THE best thing to happen to me in a very long time. I finally understand how love is supposed to be. I mean, sure, we don't have a lot of common interests or anything, but there is a countless number of undeniable bonds we share. We come from very different backgrounds, but so many of our experiences are the same. There's something that feels so satisfying about talking to someone about your hardships who has gone through them in their own life. There's never any "well, my experience was so much worse" or "you don't know what it's like" style comments thrown around like there used to be. When I talk, she always listens, no matter what's going on in our lives. Like I said before: It's refreshing.

In just our regular lives, we get along perfectly too. We both love getting outside and DOING stuff. I'm not talking about dirty things, but actually getting out of buildings and physically moving. There's nothing wrong with going to shows, watching movies, or hanging out with friends at home, but there's something special about running around a playground like you're 7 years old again. I guess her and I didn't really have too much or that pre-teen experience at that age, so we're making up for it now. I love being out with a girl who can challenge me in a physical aspect. I actually had to TRY to chase her when she started running. She used to run track, play soccer, and all that, so I think she might have let me catch up, but that's just as good.

Humor is a BIG part of my life too...everybody who knows me at least knows that. Laughing until it hurts is the best feeling in the world...well...second best. Moving on though, I can't believe how we laugh at the same jokes all the time. I never thought I could ever have that many inside jokes with anyone. We finish each other's sentences/quotes/jokes all the time. I mean, the the past day alone, we've had:

The day is mine!
I can't read or write...
I'll take the Uzi, the M-16 machinegun, the Howitzer...
HEATH LEDGER!
Azerbejan...
8-mile?
Padiddle...take your pants off.
Sonofabitch!
*thhhup* Hypodermic needle in the leg
I need to ask you about the penis mightier...
Well, why weren't you in the kitchen?

Honestly, some of this stuff is pretty freaky. We were discussing something last night that went something like this:

Lauren> "Oh, you know that movie...with the two bars of steel, and-"
Me> 8 Mile?
*Lauren pauses for a moment*
Lauren> How in the hell...I was just...
Me> I...well...
Both in unison> Azerbejan!

We scare ourselves sometimes. We even did it a couple times today. They always say your "soulmate" or whatever the phrase is these days has an ESP-like connection with you. I would have never believed it before Lauren came along. I never believed in love at first sight either, but what we have is close enough to make me a believer.

Oh yes, that's right. I've used the mighty "L" word. I love this girl. Not only that, but I am IN love with this girl. It really is an amazing feeling. All that true-love bullshit you always see on TV and in sappy girl movies you never think happens in real life CAN actually turn into reality. I'm not going to lie and say we never fight, but we always solve our problems the same way every time. I won't discuss our top-secret methods, but afterwards, we're both satisfied with the results of our fight.

I dare say this could be it.

Fragma- Toca's Miracle

If you're gonna save the day
And you're hearing what I say
I feel your touch, your kiss,
It's not enough

And if you believe in me,
don't think my love's for free
I won't take nothing less than a deeper love

Lemme tell ya, 
You. know. I need a miracle
I need a miracle
It's more than physical than what I need to feel from you

Tell me that you understand,
and you take me as I am
Your love must be the one to give me everything

Just when I thought no one cared,
you're the answer to my prayers
You lift my spirits high, c'mon and rescue me

Lemme tell ya, 
You. know. I...I need a miracle
I need a miracle
It's more than physical than what I need to get me through.

You.
Know.
I.
I need a miracle, I need a miracle.
It's more than physical, what I need...
to feel from you.

It's fucking MARCH 25TH and we're in KENTUCKY. Why in the HELL did I drive through snow on the way home from work tonight? And why was I in a T-Shirt in Febuary?


'Months that start with Feb' for 800. This is the only month that begins with Feb....Mr. Connery?
Febtober!
No...Calista Flockhart?
What is....um....Febturday?
No
Ha ha, she said turd!
I hate you. The answer was Febuary. That's the month that begins with Feb, it was last month.
Ah-ha, a trick question!


In other news, I'm about two seconds away from quitting Kroger and going partially-fulltime at the range. Granted, they don't pay me often there, but it's a lot more fun. My worst day at the range is hands-down better than my best day at Kroger. After talking with the Pepsi/Coca-Cola guy, I think I could potentially get a job doing that. He said they make like, $12/hour, so that could be fun. All I have to do is drive around doing the same thing I'm doing now, but I'll be making a lot more. Oh well. Anywho, I'm going to bed. I have a date tommorow, so I need my rest :)

You Are Gonzo the Great

"Is something burning in here? Oh, it's just me." You're a total nutball who will do anything for attention. The first to take a dare, you'll pull almost any stunt. You're one weird looking creature, but your chickens don't mind!

I never knew how I would deal with it when it came, even though I knew it would. I stayed calm for the most part, but I couldn't hold back when I saw my dad cry. In 21 years I've never seen my dad cry. Watching the solid rock of a man I always looked up to with tears streaming down his face...it was just too much.

Life is too short sometimes. 88 years is a long time, but it still seems like it was cut short. You gave us a million memories from every wake of life. Even though you were a stubborn hardass sometimes, I never stopped loving you.

Thanks for always being my Grandpa.

I'll miss you.

When we're alone,
I've got nothing to stop me from letting go
Come take my hand,
You're taking me higher and I'm not coming down

And you know, if you take me away,
if you say that you'll stay with me,
let it go, 'cause tonight in my dreams I can tell you're in love with me.

I'm dreaming,
of a vision of love with you
I'm dreaming,
and I'm hoping you feel it too
I'm dreaming,
of a vision of love with you,
I'm dreaming,
and I'm hoping you feel it too

I feel your need,
and there's nothing to stop you from moving close.
No sense of time,
I can reach out and touch you and never let you go.

And you know, if you take me away,
if you say that you'll stay with me,
let it go, 'cause tonight in my dreams I can tell you belong with me.

I'm dreaming,
of a vision of love with you
I'm dreaming,
and I'm hoping you feel it too
I'm dreaming,
of a vision of love with you,
I'm dreaming,
and I'm hoping you feel it too

I'm dreaming, yeah baby, yeah.

Oooh, oh yeah.

I'm dreaming.

This is how it goes,
welcome one and all to the show.
We're wired up, fired up,
fuckin' ready to go.

In the back of the parking lot,
Outsida of the bar,
20 deep, 20 feet
from the boulevard.

Black hoodies, black caps,
black label and glasses,
Previewing the new shit before all the masses.
Cuz the first thing I need when I got a new beat,
Is to see how it sounds echoing off the street.

Thank you to EVERYONE who kept my Uncle in their prayers this week. He came back into conciousness a few days ago, and is in his own room (yay!). It meant a lot knowing that you all really do care. Thank you for being who you are.

Also, thank you to everyone who has proven, once again, that they do not care about me or my family by not even offering two words of comfort. Thanks for proving, once again, how much of a douche you really are.

Well, I WAS having a great week, until I got the news that my Uncle (also my godparent) is unconcious, in a hospital, and basically within an inch of death. Crap. Apparently he was on the table undergoing emergency surgery, had a heart attack, then something else, and there were complications. Crap.

I've been through so many changes since the last time I had to deal with a member of my family passing, I just don't know how I'm going to react if it does happen. I love all of my family, and I am praying that he can pull through. I know he can. He has to.

*gives the finger to fate*

It's about 3AM, so I figured, hey, what the hell, why not update LJ. Everyone's been asking about the "big news" or whatever that's been on my previous entry...what the hell, I'll spill the beans.

Actually, there are no proverbial beans to proverbially spill. I've just had a couple good weekends as well as a couple more fun things to talk about...I just haven't had time to update. Life is crazy-busy. Well, here goes...

First off, I got to hang out with Kristenmojocell again the other morning at waterfront park. I miss hanging out with her and our Tuesday sportstime "lunch dates" or whatever we always called them, lol. I just miss my Kristenmojocell a lot. When we don't hang out for a while, I forget how awesome she really is. We're a dynamic duo of sorts, and we can ALWAYS make each other feel better in one way or another. Kristenmojocell, you're one of the best friends a guy could ever ask for. Thanks for never giving up on me.

On another note, I finally got to meet Kristie at her friend's 21st birthday party. Anybody who knows me knows that my 21st birthday sucked large amounts of sweat dripping off a donkey's ball sack, so I try to make sure everyone else's 21st kicks ass. Me, being 21, provided my own personal Puckers & Everclear, as well as a few other goodies. Party started off kind of weird, because I really didn't know anyone, but by the end of the night, it was great. Kristie is a GREAT girl with one HELL of a great outlook on life. She's fun-loving and freespirited, and she's easy to talk to. I remember waking up in the middle of the night to someone else snoring like crazy, and I had work at 1PM the next day, but other than that, I had a GREAT time. Morning came waaaay too fast.

Next day was a work day, but I am loving that job more and more every day I go in. Even though sometimes I have the shit tasks of like, cleaning crap up, or mopping bathrooms, I know that EVERYBODY else there has to do it too. I love being at a job where I talk to the owners personally, call them by their first names, and see that they do the same work I do. Dona's got me sorting brass one of these days, which I'll talk about later...lots to talk about there. Hell, that employee discount is worth it enough to work there. Danny the gunsmith (who seemingly has been working on guns since the stone age) threaded the barrel on my SKS (and did a HELL of a job) for FREE! Not to mention free time on the range and whatnot. Hell, I get to play with guns and talk to gun nuts all day, why wouldn't I love it!?

On to the other job. Not much to report there really, except that it's almost like working at 739 again. Seems like half the employees transferred to the new store. I haven't really made friends with any of the newbies yet, and I really have no plans to. Most of them are old crusty child-molester types with no personalities. I think I'll just stick with hanging out with Debra on break, and doing my own thing while I'm working. Some of the cashiers are pretty cute, but they're also probably 16 years old. I can't deal with that kind of immaturity again. I gotta go back to dating older girls again. None of this younger-than-me crap anymore.

On to job number three. What? Oh yes, job three. Joel and I are working on getting our small business up and running. We're going to start by doing match-grade loads and self-defence ammo. I'm not talking about reloads...we'll do that later. I'm talking about absolute PERFECTION as far as ammo loading goes. We've been putting money into all this equipment to save money for ourselves, so why not make a couple bucks while we're at it? Right now, we'd like to get it operating as a self-funding business. We'll just go by word-of-mouth referrals, and (if I'm lucky) some business cards that Lauren will be designing for us using her incredible skills. I mean, I've NEVER had a misfire with any of our self-loaded ammo, which is better than I can say about anything I've ever purchased in a store. If we can actually turn a profit with this, that would be awesome. I could honestly consider quitting one of my jobs, IF we could actually get this going. I talked to Win and Dona today about just paying me in components, rather than cash, and they seemed open to the idea. Who knows, I might even talk them into carrying my own product :) We'll see though, right now Joel and I are floating on hopes, dreams and a little bit of good luck. Let's hope it continues.

Next on my list is, of course, Joel. Firearms have brought us close again (here's to a decade's of friendship, man) and it feels good. I'd love to get into a business partnership with him, because he's one of the greatest guys I've ever known. Still, I know his girlfriend, Nicole, hates me. At first, I didn't mind her too much. I thought their relationship got WAY too serious WAY too fast for it to be healthy, but I kept my opinions to myself because I didn't want to screw this up for Joel, because I think he really truly likes her. It just irritates me that she feels so threatened by me, and in turn, tries to kick me out of the picture. I have NEVER done anything against this girl, or even hinted towards it, but she keeps trying to steer Joel away from me. Like I've bitched about before, everything is "we" or "ours"...and I keep thinking, my ass "ours"...you sit at Joel's house playing with your friends while he's working his ass off paying the bills. As far as I see it, there is no "ours" until there's a ring on both fingers. Hopefully they're both smart enough not to do that for a while, but you never know. People are getting engaged like crazy. That'll be in another topic...more on Nicole. Like I said, she's trying to push me out. The last time I got to hang out with Joel without her either being there, or calling him was before they got together. Even when she's out with her friends, out at school, or out of town, there's always that neediness. When I AM there, she never has a kind word to say to me, and is always (physically) all over Joel. That is just rude in my opinion. Have some respect for God's sake. Everybody KNOWS you all are together, you don't have to prove it for us. And of course, it's a double-insult for me, since I'm single, and she knows it...kind of like reminding me/rubbing it in my face that she has someone and I don't.

Now, this whole engagement thing is nuts. I don't understand how/why everybody is so engagement-happy lately. I mean, I can think of at least 11 people off the top of my head that are/were engaged...and I KNOW I don't know that many people. WTF is going on? I'm all up for people being happy in relationships, but do they think that a ring is going to solve their incompatability? Just because you said you'd get married to someone doesn't mean that you're going to be in love...especially when you haven't known them that long. It just baffles me how people jump into engagements when they're still in the LUST phase. You can't get to know someone well enough to decide whether or not to spend eternity and a day with them when you've only dated for a couple months. You should get engaged when you are truly in love...when all you want to do is be with that person...when nobody else is even tempting...when you can love them in SPITE of all the things wrong with them.

The word Love is like a loaded gun. It's small, but incredibly powerful. It can cause fear and anxiety in the wrong situation, but can also make you feel safe and secure at the right times. When you toss it around loosely, you will get hurt. People fear it, but are drawn to it's power. Only those who know how it works, and how to use it can harness that power for good. Few of these people even exist, and even fewer know they posess that ability.

To end on a happy, less deep/depressing note, I hung out with Lauren again tonight. I'm really starting to like this girl. She may be a little abusive/OCD, but it's nice to meet someone who has REAL maturity. She can still act like a kid sometimes, but she knows when to be serious. I can't help but smile when I'm around her, even if she is sick all the time ;) It's a breath of fresh air just to act 100% like myself around someone and not be judged. I've acted like myself around other girls, but either through their words, actions, friends, family, etc...they always made me feel like I was being judged. I won't go into specifics, but I can name a dozen situations with any of the exes that were like that. This is different. I like it. Her birthday is coming up soon, which means BIG party time too. It also means I get to start meeting friends/family and all that. I'm looking forward to (hopefully) getting their approval, but I definitely don't want to get all nervous and end up looking like a deuchebag. That would suck. Anywho, I did have fun with her again tonight. Hopefully we'll get to hang out again before next weekend.

Anywho, that's my large, massive, ginormously-huge, or otherwise big update. I'm going to bed now. For everyone who is going through some rough times and has, or hasn't come to me for advice/comfort, remember how much I care for all of you (even if some of us are not on speaking terms anymore), and you can ALWAYS depend on me to do whatever is in my power to help.

Goodnight everyone, I promise I'll make time to see you all as soon as I can.

Talk to me
I can only hear you breathe
Don't hold back
Set my mind at ease

Tell me, don't wait
'til the morning breaks
I need to know
I need to know

When I'm here for you,
Won't you show me through
This silence can't go on.
You don't have to turn away,
and leave me alone.

I have huge updates...lots of things going on, but I'm way too busy to write, so you all will have to wait!

MUAHAHAHHAHAHAAHA...HA HA...HA...ha...ha....yeah.

Well that was pointless. I went to work at 8PM, and went home at 9PM. What a useless day. They didn't have my check either, so I'm slightly irked. Luckily, I got a $60 Galco holster for $11.66 today, so I was very happy. I loooove employee discounts. Maybe when I save up enough, I'll be able to use it on that DPMS A-15 we've got sitting on the wall. *drool*

Time to go watch a movie and eat some Pirate's of the Caribbean cereal (thank you Lauren!) while I try to get over whatever illness I've acquired.

Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.

I want you to know it's a little fucked up,
That I'm stuck here waitin', no longer debatin',
Tired of sittin' and hatin' and makin' these excuses,
For while you're not around, and feeling so useless,
It seems one thing has been true all along,
You don't really know what you got 'til it's gone,
I guess I've had it with you and your career,
When you come back I won't be here and you'll can sing it...

Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.
Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone,
Please come back home...
Please come back home...
Please come back home...
Please come back home...
Please come back home...

Today was awesome. I have discovered that I am awesome. No, I'm not being vain or self-centered, but I just feel really good about myself right now read on, and maybe you'll understand.

The day was rather boring to start, and I didn't exactly do much. Just kinda sat around the house talking with people on the internet. Whoo...I'm exciting.

I took apart my SKS last night, and I'm going to have Danny thread the barrel. I've got that AK compensator sitting around with that crap-ass thread adapter. No point in letting it go to waste. I'll probably head down to the range to do some shooting here soon too, even though I have NO ammo. Hell, I have to go there anyway, I have a whole bunch of people who need to learn how to shoot ;)

Anyways, today was a great day in class. I basically worked on this GODFORSAKEN PILE OF CRAP transmission for 6 hours straight. I will be the first to admit I have no freaking CLUE how automatic transmissions work. Automatics are precision blah-blah-blahs with all this electronic garbage. There's a big column of straight-cut drums and gears and there are bands and solenoids that engage and hold certain parts, and....UGH, it's just too much. Luckily, during the disassembly of this precision-built device with hundreds of fragile, tiny parts, I had a variety of tools at hand. For removing small bolts and nuts, I had my 3-foot steel Breaker bar. For slowly removing gears and shims, I had my Two-handed 3/4" diameter chisel-nosed Prybar. For carefully removing the delicate pieces, Mr. Sledgehammer made a number of appearances. Believe it or not, everything came apart.

Getting it back together will be a totally different story...but that will make for it's own great LJ entry :)

Afterwards, I hung out with Lauren for a little while. We never really even do anything, but I love spending time with her. She's one of the coolest people to talk to, because she has a story about everything. She's goofy enough where we can just fool around (not sexually, pervs) all night...I mean, we always end up fighting (pysically) but we're laughing the whole time. It's great, we can make fun of each other all night and just laugh it off. I haven't had a relationship like that with anyone since...well, a while ago.

Cherie was the last girl I dated where we ALWAYS had a fun time together. There was maybe once or twice where we had an "emotional" or "bad" night together. We only dated for like, two months, but we did so much together in that time. We went to King's Island, Six flags, Lexington, Richmond...I mean, we went all over the place, it was great. I mean, I ALWAYS had fun with her, but things didn't seem to work out in the end. Stupid hippo kept getting inbetween us...

She's still the tallest girl I dated too, and the only one with an Oscar.

Blah, I'm done....I might add onto this later, but it's getting late.

It's 8:13 in the morning on a Tuesday. Hey, I have class on Tuesday, why am I home? I'll tell you why. Dumbass retards. Apparently people who purchase vehicles with high centers of gravity don't understand that they can't make sharp turns while going 80 mph down the interstate. I can only assume that they think that their mighty SUV and their piss-on-the-world driving position gives them the ability to do whatever they'd like, because they are far superior to us goddam hippies in our rice burners. Fucking retards. Thanks for making me miss class, AND pissing me off.

On that note, apparently other people can't drive either.

While this fiasco was going on with Mr. upside-down-truck, more dumbasses emerged from the sea of vehicles. Apparently the guys behind me were waiting MUCH longer than I, as they deserved a better seat in line. Damn, both lanes are filled with cars...what about this one? Emergency lane? I guess that means pass-those-stupid-goddam-hippies Lane! *GAS*

Not to mention merging. Most people understand this concept. Two lanes become one. When there are a lot of cars, you're supposed to take turns. 1st Guy from lane B gets behind 1st guy from lane A. Then the 2nd guy from lane B gets behind the 2nd guy from lane A, who is behind 1st guy from lane B. Looks kind of like this:
AAAAAAAAAAAA
ABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABAB
BBBBBBBBBBBB

....Makes sense, right? When applied to real life, it appears more like this

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAABA AAABAAAA AAABAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AA A
BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB A A

The A's think that the lane is theirs, so there's no way they'll give up their God-given RIGHT to stay right on the bumper of the guy ahead of him. Fuck those B's, they're dumb goddam hippies anyway. Those two A's aren't typos either, they are the geniuses running down the emergency lane so that there's no possible way those police cars can get ahead of them and block the road around the crash. That'll teach those stupid cops to think twice before they start trying to do their job!

Lastly, most human beings are aware that two objects cannot take up the same space at the same time. When applying the merging rule, A and B cannot be in the same spot. Just as I cannot type an A on top of B here, there is no way they can do it with vehicles. Through either a misunderstanding of the laws of physics, or a medical condition that causes you not to see with several organs(blindness & stupidity), many believe that their vehicle WILL go wherever they point it, regardless of the obstacles. While those obstacles may actually be another vehicle, no worries, your Buick can go right through it, and you know why? Because you believe your time is much more valuble than ANYONE else's. You're the only one on the whole road trying to get to work. Everyone else is just a stupid goddam hippie that's trying to piss you off and get in your way. Luckily, God equipped you with that horn and middle finger, so you can let EVERYONE know that you're angry at them so they can bow to your needs.


If anyone knows where I can aquire a small battery of anti-vehicle rockets, please post up or email me. Time is a factor, as I plan on driving again soon.